005. Exposed Reliquary
Hello ####,
Before we begin: on account of a gnarly cut on my knuckle that has made it impossible for me to bend my middle finger (or type for more than 4 minutes at a time before taking a pain-induced break), this letter will come out to be a bit shorter than usual. But have no fear, I've been collecting bits and bobs for next week's Halloween-themed letter.
For this past week, I've been giving "exposure" a lot of thought. It's a complicated word with complicated repercussions depending on who or what is brought to light. There is the exposure of skin, controlling quantities of light and shadow on your camera, the delirious state of being in the sun for too long, the exposure of pain, the ache of our bodies or daily mental agonies. I always feel most exposed when I floss my teeth. I'm not sure why, but something about the gesture (the tugging of thread right along your sore gums) is unsettlingly intimate, like seeing your way-too clear reflection in a freshly polished mirror. Sometimes I spit blood into the sink and I feel like I've unintentionally divulged a secret.
TOUCH
I snagged these abstract nude earrings on depop. They remind me of Knobbly Studio's deconstructed nude jewelry (with significantly less damage done to my wallet). Their simple, looping form means that I can pair them with pretty much any outfit. You can get yourself a pair here and you can find more jewelry with faces, nudes in other colors, hand earrings, and more at crygirl's depop shop.
I'm kind of a skincare fiend, and I've been searching for an overnight mask for ages now. Pacifica is one of those brands that I've always seen around Target and Ulta, or in natural food stores, and I finally decided to pick up their hydrating overnight mask in hopes that it would soothe my dry, sensitive skin. After years of trial and error with skincare products and irritating breakouts, I've learned that more often than not, dryness or added fragrances and chemicals are to blame for bumps on my face. Every time my skin feels dehydrated, I slap this on before bed and when I wake up, no joke, my face feels like a baby's ass. It's so insanely smooth and soft (thanks to sunflower oil, shea butter, chamomile, and mushroom extract). If your skin gets dry and tight in the winter time, I can't recommend this enough.
I decided to go shopping today for the first time in months and I finally (FINALLY!) picked up a pair of black cowboy boots from L Train Vintage. No, this is not on-theme at all, but I thought I'd share anyway. With the cold weather coming up, these will be perfect to dress up outfits with (and perhaps a Halloween costume idea??). Just the right amount of kitsch I need in my life right now. Yeehaw.
LOOK
Carrie Mae Weems's 1997 series, Not Manet's Type, has been on my mind lately. The photographs appear in the style of Vermeer's mirrors as Weems occupies different spaces in her bedroom. She challenges Manet's representation of women (specifically Olympia which features a woman of color, although she's a house servant not the seductive subject of the work). This series speaks to a greater history of women of color in the art world with lines such as "It was clear I was not Manet's type / Picasso - who had a way with women - / Only used me & Duchamp never even considered me." She challenges these white male artists as she carves out space for herself, recognizing historical limitations, "I took a tip from Frida / Who from her bed painted incessantly - beautifully / while Diego scaled the scaffolds / to the top of the world."
John Luke's 1928 painting, Judith and Holofernes, is one of my favorite contemporary interpretations of this Biblical beheading. There's just something mesmerizing about this somber setting, the muted clothing. There is so much left unspoken, unseen. The blood is minimal, yet punctuates the canvas, the stark white of Holofernes's shirt, the way Judith extends the head out to the trash bag with disgust.
Belkis Ayon's collographic prints have been a visual delight to study. Ayon's work is influenced, in part, by the mythology surrounding Abakua, an Afro-Cuban fraternal society. Her pieces, through the austere palette of black, white, and gray tones, examine cultural roots and ethnicity, the influences of religion, and gender dynamics. These complex, beautiful illustrations contain grim mythologies. If you're in the New York City area, you can view more of her pieces on display at El Museo Del Barrio.
Lastly, I've really been enjoying Christina Quarles's paintings. This painting, titled "Boy, Yer Gunna Carry That Weight," and others are full of electric colors, bodies unspooling into neon and stretched skin. Her subjects become destabilized with her lush, almost excessive painterly style. The boundaries of body and surface melt and mutate into each other, producing beautiful monstrosities.
LISTEN
Longform (the journalism app) has a seriously underrated podcast where they interview writers, editors, and content creators about their lives and their careers in journalism. In this episode, Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah talks about traveling to South Carolina to write her brilliant GQ piece, "A Most American Terrorist: The Making of Dylann Roof." She talks about her experience going to Dylann Roof's father's house, as a black woman, to learn about where he got his white supremacist ideas. There's something she says in this interview that has stuck with me: "The absolute arrogance of this guy was infuriating and I said, 'Oh, we don't know you? And you're allowed to sit behind the sanctity of silence? Then I'm going to figure you out'...One of the things that Dylann was very committed to was keeping his psychopathological information out of the courtroom and his family's information out of the courtroom. That veil that he was allowed to drop down on his life was something that the victims were never afforded...That was when I said 'No, you don't get to be removed from this vulnerable process of having your life outed and interrogated, investigated.' What we need to do with these white supremacists is find out where they live, who they are, and where they came from...They won't have the right to control the narrative." Ghansah speaks openly about going to Charleston shortly after the shooting, society's treatment of black pain, and her motivations to write this investigatory piece about the origins of Roof's white supremacy in his family. Seriously, this is a brilliant interview whether you're interested in journalism or not. Listen to it here.
An album I've kept on repeat is Dounia's debut EP, Intro To. Seriously, she's got a lovely voice, amazing lyrics, and brilliant R&B beats to dance to. She moves with confidence, raps honestly about dealing with fuckboys and pursuing fame through realness and positivity. Can't wait to see what she releases next.
Rina Sawayama is a cyberpunk princess. I first fell in love with her dreamy pop music when she released her single, Where You Are. Her latest song, Afterlife, has been on repeat for the past week. I love how her twinkling music examines femininity and digital identity with a classic pop atmosphere. You can check out the awesome karaoke video for Afterlife here.
London-based GIRLI's punk-pop track, Hot Mess, was an unexpected musical find for me this week. The song, from her newest EP of the same name, is a brashy confrontation of patronizing misogyny in the music industry. She's a force of nature with bubblegum pink hair and unapologetic, feminist ferocity. With lyrics like "I don't know who you think I am / But your bitch is not one / I'm good at what I do / And don't ever let anyone / Tell me that your song's okay / But sweetie did you know / A couple changes here and there would make it super cool." She's definitely on her way to the top.
The last track I'll mention for this week is Men I Trust's Lauren. This single is so lovely and it has a music video that reminds me of something out of Twin Peaks. I love how the ephemeral vocals carry you like sitting in a cruising car, sunlight warming your cheeks. I could lay around all day reading books, watching people mill about below my window, with this song on repeat.
LICK
This semester I'm in a class about science fiction and writing, so finding Pop Culture Detective's video/critique on "Born Sexy Yesterday" felt quite fitting. In this video, he gives name to a notorious trope seen in science fiction movies. Oftentimes, women in sci-fi are portayed as childish and naive, yet somehow also incredibly skilled (oftentimes more than the male protagonist) and powerful. This contradictory portrayal of women underscores a lot of misogyny in the genre, with roots in colonialist ideas. For all you film buffs out there, go check it out.
One Spring 2018 collection that caught my eye was Melitta Baumeister's gothic, minimal designs. Baumeister has described her clothes as operating as "blank canvases." The simplicity of these pieces exposes a different kind of self-expression, one of a clean vessel appropriate for a multitude of identities. This collection has a wonderful cohesion, like uniforms, yet each of these pieces is structured with the strength to stand alone. You can check the rest of these breath-taking designs on Vogue's website.
Another source of visual inspiration for me has been v93oo, a beauty Instagram account. They share amazing looks with bold colors, fresh makeup designs seen on runways and lookbooks. This account motivates me to experiment with my makeup application and colors and to think about beauty beyond the traditional smokey eye. CLICK Sharon Olds' poem, "An Old Woman's Painting," has been lingering in the back of my mind. It's a poem that reminds me of the beauty found in the rotting of autumn. There is something so delicate, yet sobering to the images she creates: "let the night come to it, as iron filings to a magnet." This is a poem of radiant melancholy.
A Twitter account that has brought me a lot of joy recently is congress-edits. This bot account posts each time a Wikipedia article is edited from IP addresses inside of Congress. Some of my favorite edited articles so far have been The All-American Rejects, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Carly Rae Jepsen.
Recently, I read Elizabeth Newton's essay "Fierce Attachments" about the use of citations for Real Life magazine. She examines the fluid rules of plagiarism and reference when artists and writers re-examine old ideas, not quite homage and not quite forgery either. This piece is loaded with artistic wisdom, like "Originality requires a respect for origins", and explores how digital technology has complicated this question of citation, reference, and rip-offs with online incentives such as ad revenue and viral readership. This essay raises a lot of important questions about digital consumption and authorship ("You should definitely cite someone if you take their sentence, but what about their word, their topic, or their train of thought - their path through the online maze of content?"). I'd highly recommend going and giving this a read. // Not everything can be concealed, as much as we try. Things rise to the surface, confessions are spilled, documents are leaked, skin and teeth are bared. We expose ourselves in different ways, in the meals we eat, the songs we listen to, the books we read. If the algorithms tracking our phone and internet usage were made public, what would they say about us?
On that note, I'm going to catch up on Riverdale, my guilty (problematic) pleasure. See you guys next Sunday.
Love,
Ellie